After a Year in Paris....

 Like today, a year ago, I landed in this country without knowing what waited for me. It was the last place I thought of doing my masters in. For years, my goal was to do my graduate studies in the United States. I worked hard in order to do so. I even got admission in two departments at the American University of Washington but things didn’t work for me to reach that country. Here I am doing my masters in the city of romance, art, and history, Paris. The capital of sophistication as I tend to describe it.  

I spent my undergraduate years back home studying and working hard in order to be closer to my goal. It was a long journey at that time with everything going on in my home country and all the ups and downs I had to go through but I remained hopeful. So many things came in the way and I was in doubt at times but I had to hold myself together in order to move forward and be a step closer to my dream. War can change your perception of the world we live in. Things that we once took for granted are suddenly valuable and we begin to appreciate the little things in life in ways we never did. You will be afraid to lose things suddenly because you know how unpredictable war can be and it can steal everything from you in a split second.  

I came to a country that speaks a language I couldn’t speak. My first day was a day different from what others would imagine. People would think that I arrived with ease and I settled in right away but that wasn't the story. I arrived at 5:15 am (I have the time documented on my phone) and I thought the plane was crashing as I woke up suddenly to the sound of the airplane landing, it was dark, the plane was very small and kids were crying the whole duration of the flight, the guy next to me decided to sleep from the moment he sat on the chair. I was sleeping and waking up throughout the flight as I wasn't at ease and maybe I was nervous.
  

The seat wasn't comfortable and I didn't eat and simply, I was just exhausted. I didn't know what was waiting for me. I had a very limited budget which half of it went on taxis as Charles de Gaulle airport was far from the center of the city. I had two heavy suitcases that's why I couldn't use the metro station as I wasn't informative enough of how things worked and my luggage kept me from moving around easily. When I noticed how big they were, I cursed myself for bringing everything from home.  

Taxis here are very expensive, you will find yourself paying about 50 euros just for a 30 minutes ride and on that day, I used about three to four taxis as I didn't find a room in the university residence I was assigned to and I had to wait until they assign me to one as they didn't expect my arrival. I was almost broke and homeless. I had to solve the situation with what I had but when I couldn't handle it anymore, I just burst into tears. I cried in the middle of the street and I had no connection to call home and I didn't want to. When it was around evening, I was drained. At some point, I lost the sense of my surrounding because I had more things to worry about. 

Actually, I think I never cried this much in my entire life. I cried on the taxis I took and, in the street while pushing my two big suitcases. and I cried myself to sleep. I almost couldn't find a place to stay in as I had troubles financially and my parents didn't know about this and I don't think I will ever tell them even after this long. I stopped the last taxi and the driver was nice enough to take me to many hotels to find an affordable one and he didn’t take any charge when he saw me in tears. His kindness is something I will never forget. I don’t know his name but his kindness was enough for me to remember him even after this long. Eventually, I got myself a place and I settled after an endless amount of paperwork. Paperwork is never done!  

‘’Correct people who call you lucky’’

I read this quote on Instagram by Hallie Bateman and it was some sort of a wakeup call or maybe a reminder. I don’t like to call myself lucky and I certainly don’t like it when strangers call me lucky because this didn’t happen out of luck. In fact, it happened because of hard work, tears, failing and trying, an endless amount of rejection letters, and the list goes on and on. It is a result of a dream that was turned into a goal and I am in the process of accomplishing this goal, at least I am halfway through. It is what I believed I was capable of making even if it took me years after finishing my undergrad to make it a reality. 

It was a roller coaster of memories, tears, ups, and downs, doubt, love, and fear. I learned beyond the books I read and discovered myself more. I made great friends and encountered amazing strangers. It is the solitude I was yearning for so many years. It was the quietness I was eager to live but it turned out to be annoying at times. The times I spent in my room in utter silence, Just curled up in bed and doing nothing, sometimes it is all we need. I learned so much about this country and I visited great neighboring countries and made beautiful memories that I will cherish forever. I am still discovering this world and discovering myself along with it. I changed, and I am still changing. It is a journey I worked so hard for and I am making my dream become a reality the way I imagined it and maybe even better. It is my opportunity to grow and I know that the world has so much more to offer. I am writing this article a year later with so many memories to look back to and to remember that this entire journey is a blessing. I hope you, readers, turn your dreams into goals and make them a reality.