On the Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing

This was taken in Annecy, France last year

We always think that we know and understand ourselves because it is ours but we never truly think of it and we may discover that at some point, we don't really know ourselves the way we thought we did! Self-discovery is a lifetime journey and it doesn't have a timeline. It is more about us taking the step towards it and opening up a door we kept close for so long. to communicate in a different way. We spend time and put the effort into understanding other people more than we do to ourselves and we owe that to ourselves! 

It never hit me until earlier this year when I was having so much on my plate, wounds from a previous toxic relationship, a major feeling of guilt, stress from classes, social media pressure, and negativity, etc. It was way too much for me that it hit me when I could feel that something was wrong. I started to notice my actions more and it was more of paying attention to my thoughts and feelings. I noticed how worried and always stressed I became, I was easily affected by anything, I cried easily because of anything and social media had its toll on me and I saw true colors of people on these cyber platforms. I was drowning myself in more problems and struggles while I was already drowned.  

It was as if I was looking after myself in a different and new way. I started to reflect back on major and minor events I previously had which had a great impact on me and I analyzed the reasons why I felt, for example, guilty, not good enough, easily attacked, panicking, and so on. I started to read more about self-awareness and appreciation on Instagram, such as myselflovesupply, shinetext, laurajaneillustrations, Suhaib.Rumi, law of attraction, natasillustration, morganharpernicholas, selfcareisforeveryone, and these are my absolute favorites. Also, it is important to find someone who is specialized to talk to and share your thoughts with, a therapist, was an option I finally considered and I took that step. 

Therefore, I spent the span of this year basically working out the issues and problems I thought they never existed and decided to face them instead. One of the steps was by acknowledging that they exist and that I was weak because I was fighting the idea of being weak for so long that I eventually had a severe blow-up. 

Second, I trusted and listened to my feelings, I forgave myself for all the guilt I felt because of any event I went through. I didn't think that forgiveness was important in this journey when, in fact, it is one of the essential variables of this process. Forgiveness is about freeing yourself and reclaiming your power. 

Third, I decided to stay away from social media and discovered that privacy is essential. Being fully involved or let me say fully drowned in social media was very toxic and I saw the negative and crazy side of it that I eventually decided to take some time off and use the time to focus on myself and try new things.  

 My mental and emotional health progressed tremendously and I am still moving towards a better version, the one I have been dreaming of and I will be there at some point. I advise anyone reading this to cherish your energy and time. Make sure that you cut off ties with negative/toxic people. I read a quote the other day that I related with so much and it said: 

''Stop holding onto people just because you have a history together''.  

 If they were toxic once, even under the name of a friendship, it doesn't mean that you have to put up with them again. If they were negative and they tend to throw their negative vibes on you without even being there for you or listening or giving feedback and if they tend to constantly judge your opinions because of their insecurities, it is not your fault and they have major issues they need to solve. You don't need any of that in your life. Loneliness could be a way of seeing things clearly and subjectively. You no longer need to justify yourself or your opinion to any human being. It is your life and your thoughts, thus, never be apologetic for those! 

 The moment I realized my own space and I started to put people in their right places, I felt content and at peace if these were the right terms to use. In addition, never give anyone the chance to have an upper force on you or a way to negatively impact your life. Only then, you will acknowledge the great amount of energy you saved only because you value yourself and your space more. It is quite astonishing to feel a sense of relief and calmness that began to crawl back into my life and daily habits. Again, privacy is key but I won't forget the support from loved ones especially my best friend who listens and shares her ideas and we help each other realize and understand so many aspects of our habits and personalities.  

In addition, as humans, we are a work in progress and it is not only on a professional level, but it is also meant in an emotional and mental level which is the key to every other thing we achieve or reach, without emotional and mental stability, any achievements would not be counted into this equation and progress won't be achieved.  

 An amazing lady told me that balance is the result of reflection and not the other way around and I agree with her. Once you start reflecting on yourself and giving yourself space, it needs, you will result in mere balance and it is incredibly important. Another thing that was helpful for me was paying attention to the food I eat and I made sure to make the best out of cooking. Usually, I cook quickly to eat and rush to get things done and sometimes I end up not eating. Instead, I used music as a tool to make cooking more enjoyable and it was totally different. I made sure to cook with love and happiness and took care of every simple detail and cooking helped me as well as I found joy doing it.  

 Walk away once you feel that you are investing in the wrong people or things, you don't have to put up with any of it. YOU are who matters here and it is not selfish, it is called self-caring. Once you put the pieces of the puzzle together, you will understand and it will hit you like a bucket of ice-cold water. but once you truly put an effort and time for yourself and learn your true needs, things will take a whole new level and you’ll begin to see the world clearly and openly. The people you once thought you couldn't live without; you will find yourself eliminating them from your life and you will no longer do the things that bring you discomfort. I hope you all find your ways and begin to answer the questions left behind and start off the journey of self-discovery because it is never too late and it is definitely worth it.